civility
What is civility?
Manners?
A quiet countenance at a dinner table,
hands folded atop a linen napkin.
Don’t speak unless spoken to.
Is it gentleman and ladies in suits and skirts
exchanging formalities and fake laughter?
“Uncivilized,” they whisper
As they peer over their shoulder at the rowdy, the messy, the silly,
Children chasing and giggling in mismatched clothing.
Civility was hijacked a long time ago,
Turned into a synonym for Tamed.
We tamed our dancers in ballerinas,
soul food into fast food,
front yard barbecues into top floor dinner parties,
jazz into three verses, a bridge, and a chorus,
poetry into memes,
freedom into expectation,
spirituality into religion,
all in the name of Civility.
And I know there is good in order,
In security,
Within these manmade boundaries.
But do you ever grieve the pieces of ourselves we lost
In drawing these boundary lines of civility?
It tends to be that the more civilized the neighborhood
The less civil the neighbor;
The more access to amusement
the less need for each other;
The quieter the streets
the louder the judgment,
Because judgement grows at a distance.
We took the beauty of expression,
of movement,
of sound,
of our uniqueness and labeled what was “in” and what was “out,”
what was “civil” and what was “uncivil,”
all the blurred lines of art outlined in thick black marker
and packaged into orderly containers—
rules and boundaries
Monetized for the Civilized.
It tends to be that the more civilized the neighborhood
The less civil the neighbor;
The more access to amusement
the less need for each other;
The quieter the streets
the louder the judgment,
Because judgement grows at a distance.
This is how we stifle civilization in the name of civility.
Because isn’t civility just a deep care for your community?
An unfiltered bond with humanity,
A taking on of each other’s burdens,
A moving closer to one another rather than further away?
Rather than quiet streets with lonely inhabitants,
It’s front porch waves,
fresh plates of cookies,
shared spaces and smiling faces.
Rather than
Get off my lawn and
Stop all that racket,
It’s
The whole of You is welcome,
Kids chasing each other down the block screaming
because civility hasn’t yet quieted such an honest expression of joy.
A hyper-awareness of society’s rules hasn’t squelched their innocent spirit.
It’s dads rolling kickballs and pushing swings,
Moms holding babies they claim by bond if not blood,
Picnics in the middle of the street at dusk
Full of laughter that echoes to the next street over.
It’s naked babies toddling around because diaper rashes need air
And isn’t this the exact place where something can BREATHE
including tiny dimpled cheeks.
Civility is shared breaths,
over and over and over again.
It’s this land is my land and your land and our land.
It’s maybe even just a touch of chaos in the name of togetherness.
What is civility if not loving,
Completely,
This beautiful Civilization.
